All Aboard the Santa Express!

Last year we went on the Santa Express and had such a fun time.  We went this year again thanks to the Starlight Children's Foundation.  The boys were so excited to put on their Christmas pj's and go see Santa.

 It was so cold but well worth it.  Adam and I joined in on wearing our PJ's too! 

Thad of course was the most excited.  

He loves going on the train and telling Santa everything he wants for Christmas.  

Oliver had fun this year and was excited to go on a choo choo train.  

Thad's favorite part is the cookie and hot chocolate.  

You can also buy dinner and the servers dress up like elves.  

Oops, sorry Andrew! 

The train takes you to the North Pole where we get to pick up Santa.  

They have it all decorated and Santa stands outside and waves to all the children passing by.  

Santa visits with each child and asks them if they've been naughty or nice.  He gives them a neat little bell.  Thad gave Santa an earful of everything he wanted.  I don't think Santa understood most of the conversation but he just shook his head and said if you're a good boy! 

Andrew didn't cry but he studied the old man very closely.

I thought Ollie would cry when he saw him but he was excited to see him (I also might of bribed him with a game of angry birds) Ollie told Santa he wanted a dinosaur.  

The weather was a little crazy coming home and all 3 kids fell asleep shortly after we left the train station.  It was such a fun night of making memories.  I love living in a place where we can go and do all these fun things.  

Emma- 7 years

I think this saying below says it all.  Our Children are only lent to us and we never know how long we will be able to keep them on this earth.  Today Emma has been gone for 7 years.  Seven years have gone by in a blink of an eye.  There is not one day that goes by that she does not cross my mind.  Oh how we miss her everyday but know that she is in such a better place.  It doesn't make it easier, I would rather have her here with us but we are blessed to have had her on this earth even if it was for only 3 months.  I wouldn't trade that time for anything.  I truly believe she was only meant to be with us for 3 months.  Her time on earth changed our lives forever and she prepared us for the life we have now with our 3 boys.

Our boys are getting older and Thad has been asking lots of questions about her.  He wants to know where he was when she was here with us.  He wants to know why her heart was sick.  He wants to know why he isn't in Heaven since he had heart surgery just like Emma.  He wants to know when he is going to Heaven to see her.  It's hard to understand at the age of 5 what death means.  We don't hide anything from the kids but we talk about her often and just explain that her heart was sick and Jesus needed another Angel in Heaven.  Oliver sees pictures of Emma and shouts her name! When he sees a cross or an Angel statue he says "Emma."  We have a few spots we drive by in town and every time we drive by them he says "Emma outside"  The first time he said it, it really caught me off guard.  It's sweet how he see's his sister through a cross or an angel or even a windmill that looks like a cross.  I love that our boys know who Emma is and where she is.  They might not fully understand everything but they know that Emma is their sister and that she is a big part of our lives.  We will always talk about Emma and how important she is to all of us.  

This was on her baptism day.  It was such a joyous and emotional day for everyone.  

Going through some of life's struggles, you realize what the important things are.  We aren't perfect parents but spending time with our boys now has a whole new meaning.  We cherish every moment we have because life isn't guaranteed.  

This is one of my favorite quotes "If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them.  They didn't forget they died.  What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that, is a great gift." ~Elizabeth Edwards 

People still to this day are sometimes afraid to mention Emma.  I don't blame them, death is a weird topic and especially when it's a death of a baby.  I LOVE when people talk about Emma. She is our first child, she lived, and it gives me warm fuzzies when people say her name.  So if you are afraid to speak her name, don't be! 

Our cute little duck

These were some of my favorite times with her.  She never slept with us because of all the oxygen tubes and feeding tubes but every morning I would bring her to bed with me and snuggle her.  It was our little bonding time.

Thank you to all who have been by our side through the heartache and loss.  Having friends and family who supported us was such a blessing.  God puts people in our life at just the right time who help strengthen us.  I feel blessed to be able to help other moms who are just starting this journey of a loss of a child.  I don't have all the answers and never will but I'm glad I can be a glimmer of hope to them.  We choose to stay positive and focus on the good she did.  Faith is what has carried us all of these years.

Our hearts and prayers go out to all the mommy's and daddy's who have had to bury a child.  No parent should have to say good bye to their child no matter what age they are.  Much love to you all.

Halloween fun

The boys had fun carving pumpkins! 

We went to a Fall Festival at our church and the boys had fun playing games and dressing up in their costumes. 

 Our three superheroes! We went to one of Thad's friends house for trick or treating and a Halloween party.  There were probably 15 adults and 15 kids in our group trick or treating.  They all went to the same house at the same time and startled the homeowner with that many kids wanting candy.  It was a cold but fun night.  

Thad LOVES to do cake walks.  He gets it from his Grandma Luci.  She taught him well and so far he has won a cake at every cake walk he has done.  He is a lucky kid and hopefully his streak will continue.  He picked some fun cake pops that were delicious.