Emma- 7 years

I think this saying below says it all.  Our Children are only lent to us and we never know how long we will be able to keep them on this earth.  Today Emma has been gone for 7 years.  Seven years have gone by in a blink of an eye.  There is not one day that goes by that she does not cross my mind.  Oh how we miss her everyday but know that she is in such a better place.  It doesn't make it easier, I would rather have her here with us but we are blessed to have had her on this earth even if it was for only 3 months.  I wouldn't trade that time for anything.  I truly believe she was only meant to be with us for 3 months.  Her time on earth changed our lives forever and she prepared us for the life we have now with our 3 boys.

Our boys are getting older and Thad has been asking lots of questions about her.  He wants to know where he was when she was here with us.  He wants to know why her heart was sick.  He wants to know why he isn't in Heaven since he had heart surgery just like Emma.  He wants to know when he is going to Heaven to see her.  It's hard to understand at the age of 5 what death means.  We don't hide anything from the kids but we talk about her often and just explain that her heart was sick and Jesus needed another Angel in Heaven.  Oliver sees pictures of Emma and shouts her name! When he sees a cross or an Angel statue he says "Emma."  We have a few spots we drive by in town and every time we drive by them he says "Emma outside"  The first time he said it, it really caught me off guard.  It's sweet how he see's his sister through a cross or an angel or even a windmill that looks like a cross.  I love that our boys know who Emma is and where she is.  They might not fully understand everything but they know that Emma is their sister and that she is a big part of our lives.  We will always talk about Emma and how important she is to all of us.  

This was on her baptism day.  It was such a joyous and emotional day for everyone.  

Going through some of life's struggles, you realize what the important things are.  We aren't perfect parents but spending time with our boys now has a whole new meaning.  We cherish every moment we have because life isn't guaranteed.  

This is one of my favorite quotes "If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them.  They didn't forget they died.  What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that, is a great gift." ~Elizabeth Edwards 

People still to this day are sometimes afraid to mention Emma.  I don't blame them, death is a weird topic and especially when it's a death of a baby.  I LOVE when people talk about Emma. She is our first child, she lived, and it gives me warm fuzzies when people say her name.  So if you are afraid to speak her name, don't be! 

Our cute little duck

These were some of my favorite times with her.  She never slept with us because of all the oxygen tubes and feeding tubes but every morning I would bring her to bed with me and snuggle her.  It was our little bonding time.

Thank you to all who have been by our side through the heartache and loss.  Having friends and family who supported us was such a blessing.  God puts people in our life at just the right time who help strengthen us.  I feel blessed to be able to help other moms who are just starting this journey of a loss of a child.  I don't have all the answers and never will but I'm glad I can be a glimmer of hope to them.  We choose to stay positive and focus on the good she did.  Faith is what has carried us all of these years.

Our hearts and prayers go out to all the mommy's and daddy's who have had to bury a child.  No parent should have to say good bye to their child no matter what age they are.  Much love to you all.