Emma- 7 years

I think this saying below says it all.  Our Children are only lent to us and we never know how long we will be able to keep them on this earth.  Today Emma has been gone for 7 years.  Seven years have gone by in a blink of an eye.  There is not one day that goes by that she does not cross my mind.  Oh how we miss her everyday but know that she is in such a better place.  It doesn't make it easier, I would rather have her here with us but we are blessed to have had her on this earth even if it was for only 3 months.  I wouldn't trade that time for anything.  I truly believe she was only meant to be with us for 3 months.  Her time on earth changed our lives forever and she prepared us for the life we have now with our 3 boys.

Our boys are getting older and Thad has been asking lots of questions about her.  He wants to know where he was when she was here with us.  He wants to know why her heart was sick.  He wants to know why he isn't in Heaven since he had heart surgery just like Emma.  He wants to know when he is going to Heaven to see her.  It's hard to understand at the age of 5 what death means.  We don't hide anything from the kids but we talk about her often and just explain that her heart was sick and Jesus needed another Angel in Heaven.  Oliver sees pictures of Emma and shouts her name! When he sees a cross or an Angel statue he says "Emma."  We have a few spots we drive by in town and every time we drive by them he says "Emma outside"  The first time he said it, it really caught me off guard.  It's sweet how he see's his sister through a cross or an angel or even a windmill that looks like a cross.  I love that our boys know who Emma is and where she is.  They might not fully understand everything but they know that Emma is their sister and that she is a big part of our lives.  We will always talk about Emma and how important she is to all of us.  

This was on her baptism day.  It was such a joyous and emotional day for everyone.  

Going through some of life's struggles, you realize what the important things are.  We aren't perfect parents but spending time with our boys now has a whole new meaning.  We cherish every moment we have because life isn't guaranteed.  

This is one of my favorite quotes "If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them.  They didn't forget they died.  What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that, is a great gift." ~Elizabeth Edwards 

People still to this day are sometimes afraid to mention Emma.  I don't blame them, death is a weird topic and especially when it's a death of a baby.  I LOVE when people talk about Emma. She is our first child, she lived, and it gives me warm fuzzies when people say her name.  So if you are afraid to speak her name, don't be! 

Our cute little duck

These were some of my favorite times with her.  She never slept with us because of all the oxygen tubes and feeding tubes but every morning I would bring her to bed with me and snuggle her.  It was our little bonding time.

Thank you to all who have been by our side through the heartache and loss.  Having friends and family who supported us was such a blessing.  God puts people in our life at just the right time who help strengthen us.  I feel blessed to be able to help other moms who are just starting this journey of a loss of a child.  I don't have all the answers and never will but I'm glad I can be a glimmer of hope to them.  We choose to stay positive and focus on the good she did.  Faith is what has carried us all of these years.

Our hearts and prayers go out to all the mommy's and daddy's who have had to bury a child.  No parent should have to say good bye to their child no matter what age they are.  Much love to you all.

Halloween fun

The boys had fun carving pumpkins! 

We went to a Fall Festival at our church and the boys had fun playing games and dressing up in their costumes. 

 Our three superheroes! We went to one of Thad's friends house for trick or treating and a Halloween party.  There were probably 15 adults and 15 kids in our group trick or treating.  They all went to the same house at the same time and startled the homeowner with that many kids wanting candy.  It was a cold but fun night.  

Thad LOVES to do cake walks.  He gets it from his Grandma Luci.  She taught him well and so far he has won a cake at every cake walk he has done.  He is a lucky kid and hopefully his streak will continue.  He picked some fun cake pops that were delicious.

Family Pictures

We got our family pictures a few weeks ago and I am in LOVE!! It is so hard to choose between them. Here are a few of my favorites.

These three boys are everything to us.  

I couldn't have asked for better boys.

They are all so different and we are blessed beyond words.

Andrew was so serious in them but cracked a smile for us.

I'm excited to see what he will be like in a few short years.  

He is such a easy going baby.

I love this one even though the boys are all so serious! 

One of my favorites.

This Oliver is something else.  

He gets away with A LOT because of his darn sweetness and curls.  

We usually keep his hair short but grew it out for pictures and now we don't want to cut it.  

Thad is such a sweet sensitive soul.

He had such a fun time running in the field.  

We brought balloons with us so we could let them go up to Heaven for Emma.  

She is always with us and the boys love sending balloons up to her.  

We had to sneak in a few of just Adam and I.  

If you are in Colorado Springs and need a good photographer, I highly recommend Allison Easterling Photography.  This is the second time she has taken our pictures and she is amazing to work with.  

Thad's First Day of Kindergarten

Oh boy, today our little guy started Kindergarten.  I'm so happy for him and so sad for me! I like having him home and it will be quieter without him.  

We want to make special memories on his first day so we started the day off with chocolate chip pancakes! Daddy made them extra special for our special boy.  Thad thought it was the coolest thing to have chocolate chips in his pancakes.  He told me he wanted them everyday for breakfast! Chocolate chip cookies are in the oven and ready for him when he comes home.  He also gets to pick a special place to go eat tonight and he chose Chick-fil-a! 

Thad is going to a Catholic school so he gets to wear a uniform everyday.  He was really excited to put on his new shirt this morning.  For church days they wear a button down shirt and tie that is really cute! 

Ollie had to stand in each picture with his brother.  Poor guy is loosing his play buddy during the day.

We are so proud of Thad and the little boy he is becoming.  He is such a sensitive little soul who is always worried about everyone.  We know he will do great in Kindergarten and he says he will help the teacher and raise his hand if he has a question.  

We are excited for Mrs. Leckey! Thad really likes her and she is so sweet with all the kids.  Thad didn't cry at all today.  Daddy and Mommy shed a few tears at drop off.  We are just so proud of him and excited to see this journey of his life.

A couple of friends from his Pre K class are in his Kinder class this year.  There are 17 total kids in his class.  I can't wait to pick him up from school and hear all about his first day.

Happy birthday Emma

Today is Emma's 7th birthday. It's a day we should be spending with her but instead she is having her birthday in Heaven.  We know she is having the best birthday but it sure is hard not celebrating with her.  I can't help to think what we would be doing today- getting pedicures, going shopping, having a sleep over.  The list could go on.  We always try to keep positive for her everyday.  We know how much of a blessing she is and we are very lucky we got to spend 3 months and 1 week with her.  Our boys know who Emma is and Thad has been asking a lot of questions about her recently.  He wants to know why she is in Heaven and when she is coming back.  He also wants to go see her in Heaven and bring her home.  Every time Ollie sees a cross or an Angel statue he says "Emma" in the cutest little voice.  I have no doubt that they know who she is.  When Thad sees pictures of Adam and I with Emma he asks how did we get up to Heaven and take a picture with her.  He doesn't quit understand the concept of her being here first.  

Before surgery in Denver

Go chiefs! 

Precious Angel

Getting an echo

Daddy and Emma

Mommy and Emma on her first day of going to Church! 

Love her smiles

Emma loved stroller rides

Her famous care bear picture

The day before she passed away.  Just before her G-tube surgery

I always imagine what our life would be like if she was here with us.  I'm sure she would keep her brothers in line and they would love having an older sister to look up to.  

We took balloons to her and the boys each let one go.

Thad picked a cup cake balloon for her.

Her new Angel statue that holds peanuts for the squirrels.  

Right away one squirrel came down to get a little snack :)

We love you so much Emma, Happy Birthday!