Happy Birthday Emma

As long as I live you will live.
As long as I live you will be remembered.
As long as I live you will be loved.
~Author unknown

Today, Emma would be 6 years old.  She would be getting ready for 1st grade and would be no doubt an amazing and sweet little girl.  Today she celebrates her birthday in Heaven.  We miss her so much and celebrate her everyday.  Today we will take balloons to her at the cemetery and Thad will let one go up to Heaven.  We celebrate her birthday every year with a cake and balloons.  

As every year comes and goes its always the hardest between August and November.  It's the months that Emma lived and so many memories were made during those months.  She is perfect in every way and has a whole heart.  She is our own personal angel in Heaven who we can talk to and pray to.  

Every few years I go through Emma's things.  I decided to do it this year.  I forget some of the things that are in there until I see them and then remember all the memories that go with them.  I went through and read all the sympathy cards people sent to us.  I was overwhelmed reading them but I'm glad I did. There were so many cards, probably over 200. So many people cared for Emma.  I didn't recognize a lot of the names.  So many people were praying for Emma and knew her story through friends and family. It was nice reading all the nice words people said to us.  A few things have stuck with me throughout these past years.  I wanted to share some of them now.  

"Try to look toward the future of when your share the beautiful memory of your first love Emma to the rest of your children to come." How true this one is. We love sharing Emma's memory and will share her with all of our children.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm so sorry to hear about Emma.  I can't imagine the pain you feel.  At the same time, though, I feel I should tell you congratulations.  As parents, it is our goal to get our children to heaven and you have Emma there.  She will not have to grow up facing the evils of this world.  Instead she will be in the loving arms of Jesus, Mother Mary and Saint Joseph.  What a wonderful life in Heaven she will have! And she'll be waiting for you when your time comes so that she can tell you "I love you Mom. I love you Dad.  Thanks for taking care of me.  I'm happy." Now, it will be exciting to see what path God leads you down.  Maybe you'll be able to comfort others most compassionately, maybe you'll give a sad child a smile at just the right time, maybe your faith now will convert others.  Who knows? It'll be fun to see how all of the pieces of life fit together at the end of time.  So hooray! You did it! God gave you a precious baby to love and you answered God with a resounding "Yes!" Be at peace and know that God knows what he is doing." Adam's cousin Amy wrote this in her card.  It has stuck with me for the past 6 years.  What a great thing to tell a parent about their child.  Thank you Amy for writing this message.  It has really touched me over the years. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

"A very good friend told me, God gives you the grace when you need it.  I don't expect this phrase to lesson your pain but I hope you know that you will make it through."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"It is with great sadness I lost a little new found friend today, there are no words to adequately express my feelings for your loss.  I had the privilege of spending a good amount of time with her and I enjoyed every little second of her company.  I would look at this sweet precious little girl with tubes on her face and be taken back by her care free spirit like nothing ailed her and I couldn't help but to become care free myself with all the worries of my world leaving me momentarily."

 Here are a few of Emma's favorite things.

She loved her binkie! She would only take the green hospital binkie and liked when we put our finger in the little hole!

Okay, she didn't like the ducky costume for Halloween but it was too cute not to include!

She loved to smile! Even with all the oxygen tubes and feeding tubes she was still such a happy little girl.

She loved her care bears.  Well mommy loved her care bears but Emma really liked looking at them.  I remember her staring at them.  It was probably the bright colors!

She loved stroller rides.  We only took her on a few but she really liked the bumpy parts! A few days before she passed away we took a walk to my work and she got to meet all my coworkers.  I'm really glad we did that so they had a chance to meet them all.

She liked her play mat and liked looking at herself in the mirror.

She sort of liked baths.  She might have cried a few times but liked being snuggled after in her cute towel.

She liked to sleep with us and snuggle.  She slept in her bassinet beside our bed but every morning we would bring her to bed and cuddle with her for a few more minutes and fall back asleep.  

Our sweet sweet girl.  She is one very loved special girl.  Happy birthday to the sweetest Angel in Heaven.

I had to share this picture of Shayna (my niece) and Emma.  Shayna was staying with us when I went into labor.  We had to wake her up at midnight so we could go to the hospital.  Luckily my Aunt Sue came and got her and she stayed with her while we had Emma.  Shayna got to come to the hospital after Emma's surgery and see her baby cousin.  She was lucky to get to hold her.  I remember telling her not to breathe on Emma and if she needed to cough to turn her head.  (I was a little paranoid about her getting sick!) I remember Shayna turning her head every 5-10 seconds and looking the other way.  I asked her what she was doing and she said she was breathing in the other direction so she wouldn't breathe on Emma and get her sick.  Oh sweet Shayna! She was only 5 years old when Emma passed away.  She will always have a special connection with Emma! She even made me this sweet scrapbook with pictures of Emma.